


Back Then (Supernatural Gen)

by Deannie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-04-26
Updated: 2006-04-26
Packaged: 2017-12-13 03:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/819538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deannie/pseuds/Deannie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, memory sucks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back Then (Supernatural Gen)

**Author's Note:**

> _Takes place during "Home"_

He remembers a lot, actually. 

He remembers the fire and the way it flickered and danced when he looked up at it from the lawn below. He thinks he remembers a glimpse of Mom's nightgown in the flames through the window, but that might just be imagination. 

He remembers sitting in the big chair, his feet just barely reaching the end of the cushion, waiting for Sammy to be placed in his arms as Dad stood by with the camera for a picture that he doesn't remember seeing again since the fire. Remembers how Mom knelt in front of him and said quietly, "Now you need to be careful with him, Dean. Remember the word I taught you?" and the way his tongue couldn't quite make it all the way around the "g" as he whispered "fragile" in reply. He remembers that the word kept running through his head endlessly that night as he carried Sammy outside, the heat of the flames seeming to chase him like an angry dog: _He's fragile. Sammy's fragile. Be careful, 'cause he's fragile._

He remembers the heat and smell of sweat and fear that wrapped him when Dad ran out and scooped them both up from behind--remembers that he almost dropped little Sammy before tightening his grip on the fragile baby. 

He remembers days afterward: Dad on the chair in Uncle Bob's living room, just staring at nothing for hours while Dean did something, anything, to get him to answer, to smile, to breathe. He remembers Aunt Jean--who wasn't his aunt any more than Uncle Bob was his uncle--explaining that Daddy was sad, so very sad, and they had to take care of him. 

He remembers the nights when Dad would watch them both like a hawk as he put them to bed, kissing each of them lightly on the forehead with a sad look in his eyes, as if Dad was remembering what it felt like for Dean to have Mommy do the same. And then there were the other nights, when he remembers the smell of tequila and the smell of too much of it and the sound of Dad in the living room, muttering and crying and ranting when he thought Dean was long-since asleep. He remembers the mornings after, when he couldn't get Dad to wake up and so had to learn to fix Sam's breakfast himself. 

Yes, Dean Winchester remembers a lot of things from "back then," but they're none of them things Sam needs to know, so when his little brother stands in the sun of Lawrence, Kansas and asks him what he remembers, he shrugs and says, "Not much." 

* * * * * * *  
The End


End file.
